Mapleberry Blog

My all-time favorite NYC Transit/subway story may finally have been surpassed. The old fave:

The Lexington Ave. Express station at Wall Street & Broadway. It's a nasty, rainy day, and the trains are running very slow - it's been at least 20 minutes since the last uptown train, and it's afternoon rush hour. Nerves are frazzled.

A guy is threading himself through the crowd, up and down the platform, carrying a placard with a picture of Jesus and intoning "Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming." Finally an exasperated commuter sighs and says, loudly enough for all to hear, "Not if he's on the 4 train."

But here's a new favorite, one that could only have happened in post 9/11 New York:

One recent Friday afternoon, a bunch of rowdy schoolkids were hanging around the fourth car of a Manhattan-bound E train out in Queens.

One kid was swinging from the bars. Others were pushing and shoving. This was one day after the mayor and police commissioner went public with information that terrorists were planning to attack the New York subway with exploding suitcases and baby carriages. Life seemed normal underground.

One kid pulled a pair of black and red wires, probably computer cables, from his knapsack and left them dangling from the bag's side.

"Check this out," he told his friends.

The teen then placed the bag on the floor near the door to the next car. At Queens Plaza, the kid popped his head out of the car and told the conductor that there was a suspicious package on board the train.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are being temporarily delayed," the conductor announced moments later. "We are sorry for the inconvenience."

A man on the train, aware of the prank, jumped from his seat and snatched the kid's knapsack from the floor. He hurried to the door, pushed the kid out of the way, and hurled the bag across the platform. Textbooks, notebooks, pens and pencils, an iPod and strands of wire burst from the bag on impact.

"That's my bag," said the young man who planted the allegedly suspicious package, running after his belongings. "Are you crazy?"

"Not crazy, just tired!" the man answered before turning to the conductor in the booth.

"We found the owner of the unattended bag - false alarm," he informed the conductor, then jumped back on the train.

"Ladies and gentlemen, 23rd Street-Ely Avenue is the next stop," the conductor announced. " Sorry for the delay. Watch the closing doors."

via Sisyphus Shrugged